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ocmarge
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Name: marge
Country: United States
State: Oklahoma
Metro: Edmond
Birthday: 11/12/1982
Gender: Female
Interests: God, oc, friends, hanging out, learning about God and watchign sports
Expertise: being a friend; having fun, God , oc, musicals learning disablities, loving, music, dancing
Occupation: Student
Industry: Hospitality
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  margeoc7
MSN: mcanaday7@hotmail.com
Yahoo:  margeoc7
Member Since:
5/24/2004
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| I hope everyone had a good fathersday even for those of you where its a hard day like it is for me i hope something made you smile
most of you know me and father never have gotten along and about 3 yrs ago i deicded to stop seeing him and or talking to him which was one that had always killed me and made me cry and i could never sit through church service for any length with out leaving early going back to my room and just breaking down and crying like a baby well yesterday was a huge mildstone for me in my 25 1/2 years on this earth as i set in the church in a small town i saw dads playing with their kids and them talking about their child was eaither daddys boys or girl and my heart melted with a joy of what i hope to have someday when i get married well i told the preacher please dont get offended if i leave early he knew why i would if i do and so i knew it would be okay if i did and well to my surpise i was able to surrive the serman with out one tear shed or even leaving this huge step for me because it means im getting stronger everyday and that couldnt happen with out the support of my friends and this preacher and God he is the main reason why im so strong and it felt good to know i can handle this in small doses i choose to spend the rest of the day in the apt because i really jsut couldnt handle being out in big crowds and although i never did cry another mildstone its still a hard day but it never came more clearer than when no matter what tv station or radio station i listend to or watched they were talking about how great fathers are and i can truthful say i dont know personally i see what others have i think that will always make me a little jelous and my heart will always have a hole in it since my birth father abbanded me in a since and my adotive father didnt want me from the start but yet i can see the joy in my friends and the men i see who truly love their kids
and in another mildstone i have gone to church, the same church might i add 3 weeks in row
but still so much weights on my mind right now
but thats for another day | | |
| The title of this post comes from a question my friend Robert asked me and my other friend jennifer yesterday as we were driving around town from dinner to a movie and other stuff
and it got me thinking really what do i live for? well i listened to jenn's answer being a promise to her best friends and saying there is a reason why God hasn't taken her yet and so than its my turn and i sated that i have crazy notation that i want and am making a difference in this world but yet i dont want to know because i never want to feel as though my job is done on making a difference and also i said because i promised my kiki i would go to college and graduate and so i and i want to see what else God has in-store for me and i want to prove people wrong yes i live for that i mean i know this sounds petty honestly thats what i live for and in talking we asked robert and he like me wants to prove people wrong and its refreshing to know that your not the only one who wants prove people wrong for difference reasons but we also want to make people look at things differently and or in a new way and make them question their judgements. the reason that i do it cause its a passion and being one who has been judge wrongly many times and told i would never amount to anything it means more to me for me to get people to never doubt why a person is here on earth cause i truly believe everyone even convicts are here for a reason now i will never know why every person is here but i hope you start see all people this way
i even believe there is a reason why my father is my father even though we dont talk but i still believe he has a purpose here on earth
i hope i never stop proving people wrong and that i always make people question their judgements about others and i hope i always strive to make a difference
and in the end
i want to know
what do you live for? | | |
| on May 13,2005 I made one of the hardest decisions of my life which was to stop seeing my father this was in no way an easy one i remeber crying over it and praying about it and relizing it was for the best even though it didnt feel like it, i felt like a failure to my father because i could not meet his standards, to my family, to my friends but i also knew in my heart my grandparents were crying in seeing how i was treated and not happy so i decided to to stop seeing him and see what happens fast forward 3 years later and i have done alot of growing since than i have relized im a lot happier now than ever and im stronger and honestly my relationships with my mom, brother, sister in law ( which was never really bad in the first place with her) and my mom finace and my friends espeally the guys on my part. not only am i stronger and happier and relationships for the most part better im for the first time at peace with him and have hope of having a better life than i ever have in my life and with my Father in my life i would not be in this place of peace which is so nice and even though my feeling about God and church are effy at times i now can grasp some concepts i never could before although i struggle to death with them
its amazing what can happen in 3 years time :)
now with my father am i saying ill never talk to him again probably
does this mean i want bad things to happen to him no
but i also know i can never trust him again and
im perfectly happy and i know he is too
yay for peace through pain | | |
| I want you to take a few mins and read the lyrics to a song below and i dont want you to just read them but think about the lyrics and what they are saying
I just walked down the street to the coffee shop
had to take a break
I'd been by her side for eighteen hours straight
I saw a flower growing in the middle of the sidewalk
pushing up through the concrete
like it was planted right there for me to see
the flashin' lights, the honkin' horns
all seemed to fade away
in the shadow of that hospital at 5:08
I saw God today
Chorus:
I've been to church
I've read the book
I know He's here, but I don't look
near as often as I should
Yeah, I know I should
His fingerprints are everywhere
I'd just slow down to stop and stare
opened my eyes and man I swear
I saw God today
I saw a couple walking by they were holding hands
Man, she had that glow
yeah I couldn't help but notice she was starting to show
it stood there for a minute takin' the sky
lost in that sunset
a splash of amber melted in the shades of red
Chorus
I got my face pressed up against the nursery glass
She's sleeping like a rock
My name on her wrist wearing tiny pink socks
She's got my nose, she's got her mama's eyes
My brand new baby girl
She's a miracle
I saw God today
This song talks about seeing God today and seeing him in not untypical places
such as a cuple walking down the street or flowers going through concreate
i mean we as christians go to church every week or so and we talk to our friends but do we ever really see God i mean in the little things such as flowers or cuple smiling cause their pegant or in birds flying. I mean we talk about reading the bible and reaching out to those who dont know Christ, however i have found that children and alot of none christians and even animals and pets know God better than we do and see him more than we do and I truly believe we dont look as much as we should and really dont have to look that hard I mean God plays a role in everything we do but as Christians we have more to do than just look for God which leads to my next point once again read the lyrics to this song and think about what the lyrics are saying
I want you to take a few mins and read the lyrics to a song below and i dont want you to just read them but think about the lyrics and what they are saying I just walked down the street to the coffee shop had to take a break I'd been by her side for eighteen hours straight I saw a flower growing in the middle of the sidewalk pushing up through the concrete like it was planted right there for me to see the flashin' lights, the honkin' horns all seemed to fade away in the shadow of that hospital at 5:08 I saw God today Chorus: I've been to church I've read the book I know He's here, but I don't look near as often as I should Yeah, I know I should His fingerprints are everywhere I'd just slow down to stop and stare opened my eyes and man I swear I saw God today I saw a couple walking by they were holding hands Man, she had that glow yeah I couldn't help but notice she was starting to show it stood there for a minute takin' the sky lost in that sunset a splash of amber melted in the shades of red Chorus I got my face pressed up against the nursery glass She's sleeping like a rock My name on her wrist wearing tiny pink socks She's got my nose, she's got her mama's eyes My brand new baby girl She's a miracle I saw God today This song talks about seeing God today and seeing him in not untypical places such as a cuple walking down the street or flowers going through concreate i mean we as christians go to church every week or so and we talk to our friends but do we ever really see God i mean in the little things such as flowers or cuple smiling cause their pegant or in birds flying. I mean we talk about reading the bible and reaching out to those who dont know Christ, however i have found that children and alot of none christians and even animals and pets know God better than we do and see him more than we do and I truly believe we dont look as much as we should and really dont have to look that hard I mean God plays a role in everything we do but as Christians we have more to do than just look for God which leads to my next point this song is called who will be Jesus and this song
talks about how insted of talking badly about people and or going by rumors
we need to be Jesus to these people and some of them dont know Jesus and others
do but and their in the church
and what i find interesting as christians were called to love one another and be there for others
be it our best friends our worst enemies or people we dont even know however
we treat some of our own worse than those we dont but we all have this sin of
trying to pretend were better than others and thats in no way of being a Christian and or being a family
and im going to be blunt there will always be people who do what you dont think
is right or even agree but if really want to impact this world of ours maybe
we should start walking the walk by saying as we do for instance
when we know someone is getting a divorce insted of shunning them and treating them
like the worlds worst people lets say hey how can help you
or im praying for you
is there anything you need
i know shocking ideas and thoughts
but bring this all back into thought
i have started looking for God on daily base and trying to be Jesus to everyone
around me simply by saying hi or talking to people
and yet praying to God
imagine what could happen if we all did this
imagine how amazing it would be For God
and it all you have to do is be your self
and relize your no better than the next person espolly to God
cause in the end
when you die
God wont ask how many millions you made
he will ask you
how many people to impact and glorify for me
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| i leave these thoughts out to my friends and bible/ym major friends for their insight or even bible professors
Yesterday I went to church with some of my friends and
i found some very interesting feelings and views on
christianity for myself
we as christians are suppose to be the church, and
were called to love and encourage each other whether
we are friends or not were all brothers and sisters in
Christ but what i find interesting as christians we
have decided to tear our selves part and the devil is
having a blast while we knock our selves by this i
mean if your ( these are typical stereotypes of
different groups not specific to any one person i have
all of these in my fam and im going off them) Baptist
many of them feel like they have the right form of
christianity and if your presbyterian you feel as
though you usually dont take stand on tough issues
your right with God better than others those who are
Catholic feel that you need to go though x many
amount of saints to get to heaven and talk to God, and
if your church of christ your the only right faith
and Episcopalian your baptized as a baby and forever
saved from all sin
however the thing i find interesting is that no one form of christianity has it right because first were never to divided in the first place were supoose to be the church and not 50 forms of it and even though are difference in the end and in the skim of it are very small, our similarites should be what we focus on but we dont and we dicied to focus on our differences and judge other forms of christianity and try be explain why which ever form of christianity you choose is better than all the others and people want to know why were not saving souls and why we lose people its simply becuase we judge people on the stupidest things and reasons and on top of that were trying to one up eachother insted trying to help eachother out and say im of coc but hey if cathlic is more for you ill go with you or ill help find a church or hey i want to be a christian and im here for you every step of the way see where as in so many others forms of reglion they dont fight each other some do yes but us as christians should be working with our brothers and sisters no matter what form of christianity they are cause in the end God could careless what form of christainty you were apart of he going to look at your heart and judge you off that and i believe he would rather have a person who is a christian fighting to save souls of people than us worrying about why our form christainity is better than another
and were suposed to be united
how can we say were united when were fighting eachother
so for these reasons im still struggling to find the purpose in "church"
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